Why you don't want your child to be a genious

When he was 10, he was accepted into a prestigious programming course at a university, but then told he was too young to attend.

"So he got mad and he built his own website where everyone can learn how to code, whatever age they are,” said Adams, 46, who lives in New York City.

As Gregory has gotten older, funding his interest has gotten more expensive. "Some of the things he wants to develop now require hardware,” 

Adams said, "and that costs money.”

Then there’s the price of travel and events. Two years ago Gregory attended Young Rewired State, a conference in the UK for young "digital makers.” He applied for and received a grant that covered travel expenses for both himself and his father to attend. But the cost has prohibited him from returning. "I explained to him, ‘No grant, no trip to Europe,” Adams said.

Gregory pointed out that the UK conference had satellite events in various countries — and asked if they could have one in New York. So last summer, Adams organised a local YRS event so he and other local kids could participate. "My son had the time of his life,” Adams said in a blog on the subject. "I…came close to having a nervous breakdown.”

Meanwhile, Adams keeps things in perspective. "If money were unlimited, I would allow him to take all the classes he wanted,” Adams said. However, she also has two other children whose needs she must meet. "There’s a reasonable amount that gets put into his interest, but we’re not going to go overboard,” she said.

While there’s no real measure of how many kids are gifted, the US National Association of Gifted Children places the number of academically gifted and talented students at 6% to 10% of the total American student population. That doesn’t account for kids who shine in music, sports, or a specific subject area, like computer programming.

Of course, many parents think their children are exceptional. A quarter of parents of high school athletes hope their children will go on to play professional sports. (Reality check: Only 1% do.)

But for parents of truly gifted children, it's often a financial struggle to balance a limited budget with private lessons, pricey coaches, and travel to national and international events. Here’s how to keep your equilibrium.

What it will take: You’ll need to balance your own financial priorities against your desire to give your child what they need to excel — and resist peer pressure. "The competitiveness between parents is often as intense as it is between the child prodigies,” said Hank Mulvihill, a financial planner with Mulvihill Asset Management in Texas in the US. "You end up, as a family, making a decision to build your entire family life around supporting that effort.”

How long you need to prepare: Before throwing money at the situation, sit down with a financial planner and make sure you have all of your bases covered. "I am astonished at the financial commitments that people make,” Mulvihill said. "When people tear apart a financial plan to fund a private coach or endless travel, it’s very difficult to re-establish those savings.”

(BBC)